You Know You’re a Blind Parent When…

Photo captions: 1) Dad and girl reading braille together, 2) Dad walking with cane while holding his son’s hand, and 3) parents standing with small child and canes; mom is wearing a t-shirt that says: “i’m a Blind Mom” and child is wearing one that says: “I’m the child of Blind Parents!” (Dads says: “I’m a Blind Sig Ep!”-ha ha.)

Okay, so while being a blind parent can be challenging, we know we can do it. But, there are still some hard moments along the way so it helps to have a sense of humor sometimes. We have to be willing to laugh at our own mistakes too. One thing I love about sharing on this site is the feedback and comradery I feel with other parents when we share our funny moments. So, here’s a little light hearted post that only those of us “in the club” will understand.

You know you’re a blind parent when:

• You consider anything within a fifteen minute walk to be close or “doable.”
• You’ve ever put your child in the bath with his/her socks on. Some would call this a blind blooper, but I call it multi-tasking.
• Your two-year-old who often talks in his sleep says, “There’s the Uber!”While dreaming.
• You have arms of steel from carrying groceries, car seats, children, etc. Home, or anywhere for that matter.
• You have rock hard calf muscles from all the walking you do.
• Your kids can walk a mile without breaking a sweat or complaining.
• Your kids “pretend play” includes them riding their ride-along toys up the driveway and announcing, “Your uber is here!”
• You’ve ever heard your kids acting out a storyline where their dolls are taking public transportation.
• Your child is looking at books at the public library and asks you were the bumps are.
• When you read together as a family and your pre-reader grabs a print book and begins running his fingers across the pages like he’s reading braille and pretending to follow along.
• Your seven-year-old comes home and proudly announces how she put a classmate in his place when he doubted her parents could take care of her because they couldn’t drive. She pointed out how her dad takes the train to work every day and we go to Disney World each year, so obviously we’re capable. Duh! J
• When you watch t.v. At someone else’s house and your kids think that person’s t.v. Is broken because it doesn’t talk to you.
• When your kids prefer to watch movies with the audio descriptive dialog turned on.
• When your kids know how to use your phone with voice over on and how to disable it on their own.
• If you’ve ever poured milk over a bowl of scrambled eggs instead of cereal for your child.
• If your kids get car sick when they ride in cars but have no trouble on busses or trains.
• If you can install a car seat in under thirty seconds.
• If you’ve ever wished a shopping cart would miraculously appear along the side of the road.
• If you’ve ever wished a shopping cart would miraculously appear along the side of the road and one actually did!
• Your children have their own transit pass and know how to use it.
• You make up silly songs or chants to sing while you’re walking with your kids to keep them motivated.
• Both you and your kids get excited when you go someplace in a car and you can leave your car seats inside it.
• Your three-year-old knows what “cardinal directions” means.
• If you’ve ever placed a late night Amazon prime order in lee of a Target run for one of the following: snacks for your child’s class the next day, a birthday present for your child to take to a party, toilet paper, or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Don’t judge!
• You’ve ever mistakenly microwaved a bag of frozen blue berries instead of veggies in a rush to get dinner on the table.

I hope these brought a smile to your face. I’d love to hear what other signs you’d suggest for this list in the comments below. Keep them positive please. Thanks!