Category Archives: Expectations and Attitudes

Pioneers on the Playground

As most of you know, I am a native Utahan. I love my home state and miss it often—especially at times like these. July 24 is known back home as “Pioneer Day” and is the anniversary of the day when the original Mormon pioneers first entered the Salt Lake Valley in 1847 after months of an arduous journey pulling handcarts and wagon teams across the frontier. I am an original descendent of Mormon Pioneers who left their homeland and migrated to unknown territory in the west in search of religious freedom and better opportunities. I cherish this heritage and am proud of my ancestors for their sacrifices and great examples.

Outside of Utah, members of the LDS church often commemorate this anniversary by celebrating the “pioneer spirit” exemplified in our members who have sacrificed or been modern day pioneers in other ways for their religious choices. As I have been reflecting this week on “pioneer spirit”, I had an idea to write a post to honor the lives of a couple pioneers in the field of blindness whose influence and hard work has made an impression on me and the lives of many blind and low vision individuals.

The first pioneer I’d like to recognize is Louis Braille. Of course, this may seem like an obvious choice and he’s probably one of the first “pioneers” you’d think of with respect to blindness. I am very appreciative of his creative mind and diligence in creating what we know today as the Braille code. Louis Braille definitely faced his own share of nay Sayers and doubters. Braille (the medium) has opened up so many opportunities to me with respect to literacy. I drug my feet for a long time in learning it, and will admit I’m not the fastest or best Braille reader, but I’m grateful for this method which opened up the world of literacy to me again in new ways . Yes, I may be able to read very, very large print, use magnification, or even audio sources for reading, but there is truly a different part of your brain which is engaged when you are engaging in “active” reading and taking the words on the page and interpreting them yourself. I love the ability to be able to read aloud to my daughter from a Twin Vision book in Braille, or be able to write notes for a presentation. I also love that Braille allows my husband to read aloud to us when we read our scriptures as a family, or that I can go to a meeting and read an agenda along side my sighted peers. Thank you Louis Braille.

The second pioneer I’ve chosen is Jacobus tembroek. This is probably a lesser known individual to most, but I chose him for his work in orchestrating the first organized blind movement. Whether you’re a member of the National Federation of the Blind (NFB), American Council of the Blind(ACB), any other blindness group, or none at all, your life as a blind or low vision person has been impacted in some way or another by advocacy work of blindness organizations. temBroek’s work as the founder of the NFB in 1940 blazed the trail for advocacy for and by the blind. We as blind people today enjoy many more rights and civil liberties as result of organized blindness groups. For example, the right to carry a cane, better employment opportunities through anti-discrimination laws, access to educational opportunities, and so much more.

Lastly, I’ve chosen Joann Wilson, the founder of the LouisianaCenter for the Blind. Her influence may not be as far reaching or broadly known as the former two individuals; nevertheless, it has had quite an impact on the lives of hundreds of blind individuals and innumerable ripple effects. Wilson founded the LCB in 1985 as a rehabilitation and training center for blind and low vision individuals. Her center was based on the model of training used by Kenneth Jernigan (another pioneer in the field of blindness in his own right) originally at the Iowa Commission for the Blind in the sixties and seventies. The style of training and methods implemented at the LCB was vastly different from conventional training methods used in traditional rehabilitation programs at that time. Because of its high expectations, structured discovery learning methods, and philosophy based on empowerment and independence, the LCB has flourished over the years to become one of the top , if not the top training and rehabilitation center in the country with alumni from across the country and other countries . Many state and private training agencies around the country model their training practices after the practices of the LCB, even sending instructors there for professional development and training. The LCB also established a partnership with Louisiana Tech University under Wilson’s guidance and now has several teacher training programs which help train orientation and mobility specialists and teachers of the blind in the philosophy modeled at the LCB. I too am a graduate of the LCB and of the teacher programs at LTU and have a strong testimony of the practices used there to teach blindness skills. This model truly surpasses conventional approaches to training in blindness skills. I could go on for hours pointing out the differences, and giving examples of individuals who initially received conventional training, but whose lives and abilities were changed by the training they received afterward from the LCB. I know personally the confidence and empowerment this model of training can have on the lives of someone who is blind or low vision. Mrs. Wilson’s work continues on through the actions and examples of all those who pass through the doors of this center. Thank you Joanne Wilson for your hard work and dedication in establishing this center.

I know there are dozens of other individuals about whom I could go on who have exemplified a unique “pioneer spirit” that has greatly impacted the lives of many blind and low vision individuals. I hope this pioneer day you will join me in honoring the pioneers in our lives who have blazed trails, overcome adversity, and who have made sacrifices to improve the quality of life for those with vision loss. Whether it be developing new technologies , breaking ground in new arenas where the blind have not been before, , or leading by example, I am grateful to these individuals for their time, talent, and confidence in the abilities of the blintwin vision books,teacher of blind students trainingd.

I’d love to hear whom you would recognize as an individual who demonstrates the “pioneer spirit.” Please leave a comment with your picks and reasons why.

Happy Pioneer Day!

Using Our Voices

A few months ago I became acquainted with an organization called “The Power of Moms. The organization’s mission is to help encourage what they refer to as “deliberate mothering.” In any case, I’ve found it to be a great resource, and truth be told, have become a little obsessed with it. But that’s a story for another day. . The organization also produces podcasts of which I’ve also become a fan. I recently listened to one which I think is a great one to pass along to parents of blind children. It is entitled, “Using Our Voices.” (Episode 45.)

In this podcast, one of the organization’s co-founders is interviewing a mother of a child with spinabiffita. The message of the program however is not really about caring for, or being a parent of a child with spinabiffita, but about how this mother learned to use her voice to advocate for the needs of her daughter. I strongly recommend that those of you reading this post as a parent of a blind child go and listen to this podcast.

Often I come across parents like this mother who don’t know or believe that they have a voice when it comes to advocating for the needs of their blind or low vision child. Many have experiences where they ignore their “gut” instincts as to what their child needs because they are intimidated by “the professionals” in both academic and medical realms. Others find their suggestions or beliefs as to what might be best for their child dismissed as “not a best practice” or “not deemed appropriate” for the child. For example, this past fall I completed and Orientation and Mobility assessment for a kindergartener. His parents strongly felt that he would benefit from using a cane and having more cane travel instruction than what he was presently receiving. (He saw his O and M instructor for a half hour a month despite the fact that he is documented as being legally blind and has a doctor’s report in his file stating that his vision is degenerative and expected to be completely gone within six months.). The parents were concerned because his vision was worsening and he was extremely fearful of traveling in unfamiliar areas. Unfortunately, the school administrators and his O and M professional did not see any reason for him to have a cane or to receive additional services because of the level of vision he presently displayed. Needless to say, these parents felt like they had no voice and continually saw their young child struggling. Their gut instinct was that things needed to change. Fortunately for them, they became connected with individuals who validated these feelings and helped them find their own voice for their child.

Our blind and low vision children have the same rights, opportunities, and potential as their sighted peers. They need only to be given the experiences and opportunities they need. I especially liked how this mother pointed this fact out in this podcast with respect to her own daughter’s potential. I think this is an important lesson for our parents of blind and low vision children to hear. Just because our children can’t see as well as other children does not make them inferior, unintelligent, or incapable.

I could spend hours sharing similar stories and write pages on how parents are the best advocates for their children. But, it all comes down to the fact that you have your child’s best interest at heart and you know your child and his needs better than anyone else. You and your child have rights. I think hearing this from another parent is one of the best ways to help convey this message. I hope you will check out this podcast and that it will inspire you to go out there and find your own voice when it comes to advocating for your child. WE need more parents of blind and low vision children out there to speak up for what is best for our children. Good luck!

Need some Ideas for New Years’ Resolutions?

Happy New Year to you all and welcome to 2013! Unless you’ve been living in a cave or something for the past seventy-two hours, you’ve probably been bombarded with commercials, TV shows, church sermons, or friends and co-workers talking about New Year’s resolutions”. Generally, when it comes to resolutions, there are two kinds of people: the optimists who make them (myself), and the realists who don’t. But whatever your personality or feelings on the matter, I thought I’d share a couple of ideas of New Year’s resolutions you could try with respect to your blind or low vision child. Below is a list of ideas. I’d encourage you to check them out and choose one or two which you think might be possible for you and your circumstances. Don’t worry if you’re the type whose resolutions typically peter out around Jan. 10th either. There are ideas for you too.

1. if you don’t already know Braille , enroll in a class at a university with a program for certifying teachers of blind students, , enlist a blind braile reader or individual who knows Braille to teach you, or sign up for a program like the National Library Service Transcribers course or a correspondence class from the Hadley School for the Blind.
2. If your child doesn’t know Braille either, and would benefit from it (even children who have residual vision and can read large print can benefit from being dual media readers), make the decision to incorporate braille instruction into their school day by adding it to your child’s IEP this year. Or, if this isn’t an option at present, you could implement one of the ideas given above where you and your child could learn together.
3. Choose one book a week or even a month to transcribe into Braille. Either way, you’ll add 12 to 52 new books to your child’s library by the end of the year. If brailing your own books isn’t a realistic option right now, you could set a goal to purchase one Braille book a month for your child. There are a lot of sources for Braille children’s books online. Seedlings, National Braille Press, and the American Printing House are good places to start. Selection is a little limited when compared with the wide variety of children’s books out there, but it’s a good start to building a library for your child, no matter what the age.
Quick ideas for brailing your own children’s books: You can do this using a slate and stylus and some dymotape , or use contact (sticky clear sheets) onto which you can directly type with a Braille writer. You can then cut out these passages, or apply the dymotape strips directly onto the corresponding pages of the book.
4. Label appliances in your house with dymotape or other tactile markers to help make them accessible to your child (i.e., microwave, stove, oven, washer and dryer, etc.) Even if your child is not old enough to use this appliance yet, as he naturally explores his environment, he will find these indicators and start becoming familiar with them just as a sighted child would do with print.
5. Tackle one new chore which is age appropriate for your child and begin teaching her how to perform the task appropriately. For example, if you wanted to teach your child how to wash dishes, instruct her in a hands-on way how to rinse the dishes and feel whether they are free of food residue. If you use a dishwasher, help show your child how the dishes stack into the dishwasher and how she can use her hands to feel where each goes in the shelves of the dishwasher. Remember to hold the same expectations of cleanliness as you would for a sighted child—no excuses for a sloppy job because your child is blind.
6. Give your child an age appropriate “independent travel” assignment. For example, if your child is pre-school age, this may be something like taking something by his or her self next door to the neighbor’s house wile you watch from your house. For a young school age child, this could be something like going alone to get a gallon of milk at the store and meeting you back at the register. For an adolescent, you may want to start encouraging him or her to take a bus to the mall or public library independently. Look around or talk to friends and family members to see what kinds of activities their children are doing solo and incorporate something into your child’s experience which she has not done independently yet. You could even set a goal to give your child one of these experiences every week or once a month.
7. Help your child find a blind mentor in your area with whom he may be able to use as a resource. This individual should be someone whom you feel will help your child develop good skills and positive perceptions of blindness. (i.e., you may want to steer clear of a blind person who cannot travel independently, is unemployed due to a lack of skills or ambition, or who is negative about his/her blindness).
8. Encourage your child to take up a new hobby or interest. This is a great way to help your child develop new skills, meet people, and learn to try new things without letting blindness hold them back.
9. Teach an etiquette lesson to your child about table manors. Often, blind children don’t learn appropriate table manners because they are unable to watch others and learn through observation, or no one has taken the time to show them. So, set a place setting and go through some important tips with your child. Some topics you may want to address could include: posture, not eating with one’s fingers, using another utensil or piece of bread as a “pusher” to scoop food onto your fork, and sliding your fingers along a table rather than reaching out across the table when looking for things like glasses or dishes. If your child is a teen, you should consider teaching him or her more formal dining skills. This is a good time to begin preparing them for adulthood where they are bound to have experiences attending special occasion dinners, dating, or even dining with future employers and collegues.
10. Consider sending your child to a summer skills training program. Most of these programs begin taking applicants around January-March, so this is a great time to begin researching such a program. I would recommend one of the Buddy or STEP programs offered at the Louisiana Center for the Blind, Blind Inc. in Minnesota, or at the Colorado Center for the Blind. The National Federation of the Blind Jernigan Institute in Baltimore, MD typically offers some kind of STEM related program during the summers as well. There are also a multitude of sports or music camps for blind children and teens as well. I’ll be posting some helpful tips on what to look for in a good summer program very soon.
11. If you are a teacher of blind students, there is a twitter discussion group which meets on Thursday evenings at 9 p.m. ET. Consider joining/following #BRLchat on Twitter. (BTW, you can follow me on twitter as well: @MJHartle23.)

I hope a couple of these resolutions will appeal to you. I’d love to hear what you choose and how things go. Please share other ideas you may have as well. Happy new year to all!

The Role of Paraprofessionals

Earlier this week I posted a reply to an inquiry on a listserv for professionals in blindness education. After doing so, I thought this would be appropriate for my blog, So, here it is.

Original question to the list from a TVI:

“I am giving a presentation to parents about the parts of the IEP that are specific to visually impaired students. I have a question for anyone who wishes to answer. Many TVI’s use paras to teach Braille and other skills. When would you use a para for this and what should that individual’s qualifications be?”

My response:

Ideally, I would argue that paras are mostly there to assist you as the certified teacher of blind students or TVI with things like transcribing, preparing materials, assisting a child in class, etc. . Since you are the one with the specialization, degree, and or certification to teach blind students, ideally you should be providing the bulk of the Braille instruction to your students. I would recommend generally that paras be used as back ups when you as the TBS cannot provide the Braille

instruction yourself due to other priority duties, high case loads, etc. However, I

Recognize that we don’t live in an ideal educational world, so if a para is going to assist in teaching Braille, I would recommend that these

Individuals are fluent in both contracted and uncontracted Braille; know how to use a Braille writer and slate so that they can also teach these tools,

and know basic Braille rules, i.e., when certain signs take precedence, when you use certain signs like where syllables might divide a word in the

middle of a contraction-know what the rule is for these kinds of words, etc. (e.g.

you don’t use the ea sign in writing the word east). I would also recommend that if paras are going to teach Braille, they also have knowledge in Nemoth

code-at least the basics so that this is also taught along side literary Braille as it corresponds to the child’s math learning. (e.g. kindergartener should be learning nemoth numbers at the same time their peers are learning numbers; and function signs like plus, minus, divide,

and multiply should be introduced in nemoth at the same time the student is learning them in class.)

With respect to teaching other skills, I would apply the same philosophy. You are the certified teacher and therefore ideally should be providing the direct instruction, and the paras should be there to assist

you-help prepare the materials and transcribe so that your time is more free to provide such instruction, help make your job easier, and to help reinforce the skills you are teaching when you are not with that student.

Just my thoughts.

There are so many thoughts here on which I could elaborate, but basically for this post, I just want to get the point across of how paraprofessionals should be used ideally in the classroom and what I believe the role of the teacher of blind students really is. I think so often we forget that TBS’ aren’t just there to make sure the student’s materials are in accessible formats. They are there primarily to provide direct instruction in the skills of blindness: learning to read and write Braille, cane travel, problem solving, organization and time management, daily living skills, transitional skills, advocacy skills, and how to use assistive technology—just to name a few.

Happy “Meet the Blind Month” 2012

Well, as some of you may already know, October is “Meet the Blind month. The purpose of this month is to help educate the public and create greater awareness of the capabilities of people who are blind. Across the country, groups of blind and low vision individuals and their friends and family observe this month through various outreach activities such as participating in public events, speaking in public venues like schools, civic clubs, and so forth, passing out literature, hosting meet and greets, and volunteering service in their communities . Even though the month is half gone, it’s not too late for you to do something to help observe “Meet the Blind month” in your own area. So, here are a few easy ideas I came up with to help spread the word about this exciting observance and great public awareness opportunity.

  • Create a bulletin board with a blindness theme to display in your school. You should also consider making this an accessible and “blind-friendly “ bulletin board,a.k.a. tactually appealing and dual media with print and Braille.
  • Pass out “Braille Party Mix” to your neighbors, friends, colleagues, classmates, co-workers, etc. Braille party mix consists of the following:
    • 6 pieces of round candy like “Dots”, M and M’s, or Reeses’Pieces=the six dots in a Braille cell.
    • Pretzel sticks= the stylus
    • Cheese nibs crackers or other similar looking crackers with holes and ridges = the Braille cell
    • Alphabet Cereal= print letters being translated into Braille
    • Fruit roll-ups= piece of paper
  • Spotlight a blind student or adult in your school/community at a public event such as a church or civic club meeting, school assembly, class, etc. This can also be a Q and A session with a blind person about how he or she does various tasks with non-visual techniques.
  • Pass out Braille alphabet cards along with your Halloween candy. These can be obtained from blindness organizations like the American Printing House, the National Federation of the Blind, or the National Braille Press for free or a small nominal fee.
  • If you are a teacher or parent of a blind child, help your child set up a volunteer experience at a public service venue such as a food pantry, nursing home, hospital, etc. This will be a great way to teach your child the importance of “giving back” and also provide a unique opportunity for the public to see the capabilities of your child.
  • Set up a table and time to Braille names on index cards in a public place such as school lunchroom, outside a store, public library, flea market, etc. People are fascinated by Braille and will love getting a copy of their name in Braille. You can also hand out Braille alphabet cards at the same time.
  • Pass out literature about blindness in your neighborhood, school, business, etc. This could include things like Braille alphabet cards, or general blindness facts.
  • Host a tail gate party at a school football game. You can pass out Braille literature, Braille people’s names, and have blind people serving the food.

 

I hope these ideas have inspired you to get out and help spread the word about “Meet the Blind “month. I’d love to hear other ideas from you and/or the things you are doing to observe this month. Happy “Meet the Blind Month!”

Making It Work Wherever You Play

Recently my husband and I took my daughter to Storyville, this great little interactive play area which is part of the county library. It’s kind of like a children’s museum in that they have a little play grocery store, house, post office, etc. but each themed area also contains shelves of books related to that theme. There are two in our county. It’s a great, fun way to incorporate literacy into play for young children. I should mention that these play areas are designed for children ages birth to five. There is also a “BabyPark” with great multisensory areas, toys, and board books for infants and non-walking toddlers.

This is not my first visit to Storyville, and despite the fact that I’m a parent first, I always find myself looking at the activities there through my “teacher lens”, especially my teacher of blind students lens. I constantly see ways places designed specifically for children can be improved to be more meaningful and educational for a blind child.

Pic: Alphabet puzzle with wooden letters

Adaptation Note: ABC block puzzle—this is a great puzzle for blind kids in that it can help teach them tactually what print letters look like which is an important skill. However, in the case of adapting this for a blind or low vision child, I would simply place a dimo tape sticker of the Braille letter on each corresponding print letter piece. (I would give you an example of this, but this is a pic from Storyville and not my own puzzle.)

I’ve been tempted before to just show up sometime at Storyville with a bag full of clear Braille labels, wiki sticks, textured fabrics, bump dots, etc. and put them all up when no one is looking but that may be frowned upon by the staff just a little, even though it’s for a good cause.

Pic: Large wooden box divided into square sections which contain pictures of fruit and print words. Inside each square are plastic pieces of the fruit or vegetables.

Adaptation Note: Adding Braille Labels to places with Print-These fruit bins in the grocery store area are great because the fruit and vegetable models are pretty true to the real thing, thus making it meaningful to a blind child who would look at it tactually. This activity is used to teach sorting and colors and could easily be made more meaningful for a blind or low vision child by adding a Braille label with the corresponding word and placing it in the bins over the print words. Additionally, even though color is a difficult concept to convey to blind children, it is still important that they know concepts around color such as that bananas are yellow, apples are red, etc.

So this visit, I decided to take a little action through the appropriate channels. AS we were leaving, I asked the attendant at the desk to whom I would need to speak about some suggestions on making some adaptations for blind children. She seemed amicable to the idea and gave me the name of the lady in charge of Storyville. She also informed me that they have even had a small collection of braille books in the area in the past (a small start I thought, and maybe a good sign that they would be open to the idea). I haven’t called the director yet, but I’ll let you know how it goes. I worry that it might be a hard sell, even though all we’re really talking about here is a few Braille labels and inexpensive modifications—really no cost to the library—and most of which I’d even volunteer to do myself. To be honest, since blindness is such a low instance disability, making such changes may only serve one child, or may never even be used by a blind or low vision child, so selling the idea is a little bit difficult. But, on the other hand, think of how much of a difference it would make to that one child. Our blind and low vision children deserve equal access, even in play. I know the priority is not exactly to serve parents’ needs either, but making this place more accessible would also benefit blind or low vision parents like myself, my husband, and a handful of our friends who are also blind and live in the area who want to patronize these kind of places and be able to interact more fully with our children.

Another great side effect from adding such modifications would be the impact it would have on the hundreds of sighted children who come through the place on a regular basis. The exposure to some of the adaptations that would be made for a blind person—like Braille labels everywhere a print label appears—could do so much to help educate the public of the capabilities of blind people.

I think it would be so awesome if we could start this little movement to make over places like children’s museums, parks, playgrounds, children’s areas in public libraries, etc. I don’t mean that we would completely change things, but to suggest that we do more to encourage suggestions for adaptations which would help these places offer more to our blind and low vision children. Will you join this movement with me? Let me know of your experiences in this effort to improve places in your area for your blind and low vision children.

Essential Elements for Success#3: The Big Toy-“Blending In”

It is my opinion that there are five essential elements needed for a successful playground: swings, monkey bars, a big toy (complete with slide), kickball field, and tetor-tautor. Without these elements a playground is just, well…not as great as it could be. Similarly, there are five elements for success which I believe help blind individuals to be great. They are qualities which parents and teachers should help foster in blind children to help them navigate life’s playgrounds as successfully as possible. Over the next few posts, I will be introducing you to all five of these elements. So, here is our third element.

I’ve spent a lot of time since my daughter was born going to playgrounds around the area, and in this time, I’ve come to observe two things: one,there is always at least one big toy located right smack in the heart of the playground,, and two, it’s always crawling with children no matter what time of day you go. Even the little rinky-dink playground down the street from me (hardly worthy of being called such seeing as it has no grass, no swings, and no shade) has a big toy and it also usually has a handful of children playing on it. These big toys are like little social hot spots for children much like clubs or restaurants are for adults except that happy hour usually takes place between 9 a.m. and Noon.

So what does any of this have to do with blindness? Let me explain. Big toys are the one place on the playground where children have to interact with each other. Think about it. Children can swing alone, bounce a ball alone, jump rope alone, or sit on the grass alone, but on the big toy, it’s pretty hard not to interact with others. Even if a child really wants to play solo on a big toy, there is still a minimal level of interaction which has to take place there with other children whether it’s turn-taking on the slide or passing by someone on the bridge. Even when children are playing alone, it usually doesn’t last long. Once I saw a child pretending that he was driving a boat with a large steering wheel only to see another unfamiliar child come up unsolicited and start playing with him. Frankly, interacting with others makes the whole big toy experience that much better. The other fascinating aspect to big toys is all the social learning and networking that takes place on them. Next time you are at a park, take a few minutes to observe the interactions between children and you’ll see what I mean. There are all these little interactions going on, rules being taught, knowledge being shared, and instructions being given on what is and is not acceptable; e.g., if you are not sharing, someone will call you out on it. If you are picking your nose, someone will tell you that is gross. Which brings us to our third element for success: blending in.

Blending in refers to one’s ability to fit in socially, or to behave in ways that are socially appropriate. Blending in is much bigger than hair styles, brand names, or the latest slang words. . If we want our blind children to make it on the playground, we have to make sure they know how to interact and play on the big toy with all the other kids. This means, knowing how to fit in socially with their peers and the world around them. . We have to help our children learn what is and is not socially appropriate and hold them to the same expectations we would any other child. The reality is that we live in a world where first impressions and visual observations prevail, and people are labeled for better or worse. WE want our children to be accepted and the kind of kid others want to hang out with because of who he or she is and not out of obligation to “be nice to the blind kid.” WE also want to prevent labels from being placed unfairly on our children as the “weird kid”, or “special kid.” WE want our children to feel comfortable playing on the playground rather than feeling relegated to play solo on the grass. So in order to help our children “blend in on the big toy”, we have to help them understand what social behaviors are appropriate or acceptable in various situations so that they at least have all the information available to them. Then if they choose to not adhere to some of these “social expectations, it will be for some other reason and not “just because they are blind and don’t know any better.” So, here are a few areas where we may want to pay attention to how our blind children interact or stack up to their peers. Keep in mind that we could go into much more detail about each of these things, but I’ll try to just hit some of the biggest aspects.

*Using Appropriate Table Manners:

Our blind children should be expected to use silverware appropriately, cut their own food (when age appropriate to do so like their peers do), feed themselves, and should know not to use their fingers (unless it’s a finger food) to locate food on their plates, or put food on a utensil. I’ve also observed some low vision individuals putting their face down right next to their plate so they can see what they are eating or so they can scoop food into their mouths easier—not good. All these practices look extremely weird to others and even a little gross sometimes. It doesn’t really send a positive message to one’s peers either. There are alternative techniques which can be used when eating without any vision and I encourage you to ask other blind people who you believe have good manners to help you in teaching your child. You may think, “What’s the harm if my child uses their fingers to find food on their plate instead of their fork, or if he/she puts her face a little closer? The issue is that this sends one of two messages to others around them. First, either others will think they do these things because they are blind and therefore aren’t equal to sighted people or as capable as sighted people–not a message we want to promote,, or second, it will result in our blind children being labeled as weird, messy, or different and maybe even ostracized. Let’s face it, as much as we like to hope that people are kind and altruistic, other kids aren’t going to want to “hang out” with someone whose food they have to cut for them, or want to be seen with the “weird kid” in the lunch room.

*Dress and Appearance:

Please keep in mind that I am not suggesting that our blind children have to be fashionistas or have the latest hair style, but it is important that their dress and grooming reflect what would be accepted by their peers—at least within reason. . Again, we want to make sure our children at least know what the options are, or how to find out what is or is not “in” so they can make their own decisions rather than the decision being made by default just because they are blind. For example, let’s say all the girls are wearing their hair in side pony tails. If your daughter was sighted, she would see this and then be able to make her own choice as to whether or not she wants to wear her hair this way. But, since she is blind, it is important that she learn to talk to her friends or siblings to find out what hairstyles are popular right now so she can still make her own decision. Another thing to keep in mind when it comes to trends is that knowing what trends are in also helps our children be able to communicate with their peers. For example, if all the girls in your daughters class are talking about how hot cat-eye sun glasses are and your daughter doesn’t know what this means, she will have a difficult time blending in with her peers since she can’t really be part of the conversation. You may have to help your child develop the skill of asking questions about these kinds of things with their peers. Another idea is to help your child research things they hear their friends or classmates talking about. This idea applies more to teens, but you may want to encourage your child to follow a fashion blog or review websites or articles to learn what the latest styles are in fashion, make up, or hair as these often give good verbal descriptions and sometimes step by step instructions. I noticed that my husband knows a lot about trends in athletic ware which are more mainstream in fashion right now because he hears about it from commentators when he watches ESPN even though he can’t see what people are wearing. It comes in handy for him sometimes in conversations with his friends too and they are impressed that he seems so “with it.”

Equally, it is important that we help teach our children concepts like what kinds of colors, patterns, and fabrics go together and which ones don’t, i.e., your daughter shouldn’t wear her Old Navy flag t-shirt with her pink and purple floral shorts, or your son might want to think twice before donning his knee-high socks when he’s wearing shorts, or white socks with his dark dress pants.

*Social Cues and Gestures:

This area can be a little tricky because sometimes we don’t know what our children don’t know or miss out on since we may take some of these things for granite. For example, I know of a blind adult who didn’t know that you raised your right hand to a forty-five degree angle when you made an oath on a Bible. He just knew you put your hand on the Bible and thought that was all. So, it is a good idea to watch for these kinds of things and then ask your child whether or not he knows what a specific gesture looks like. Other physical cues which are good for our children to know when trying to blend in include things like making eye contact, i.e., turning your face in the direction of a person speaking even if you can’t see them or their eyes, (you’d be surprised at the number of sighted people I hear who find this disconcerting when they talk to a blind person even though they know the person can’t see ), shaking hands, knowing how your arm looks when you are raising your hand in class, and shaking your head no or nodding yes just to name a few. One other thing I notice a lot is how many blind people don’t face a presenter when in a public event like an auditorium or hall. . Often, they turn towards where the sound is coming which may be the speaker off to their side rather than the podium, or else they droop their head down as if looking in their lap rather than facing towards the presenter. Again, you may wonder, “What’s the harm?” but as we live in a society which relies a great deal on body language as a form of communication, those kind of behaviors can often be misinterpreted as the person being uninterested, rude, or bored. Additionally, if all the participants in a crowd are looking one way, and your child is facing a different direction, they are going to stick out, and not always in a positive way.

*Blindisms or Self Stimulating Behaviors:

Blindisms are specific physical behaviors often demonstrated primarily by blind individuals. They include behaviors like rocking, eye poking, or head rolling (like from side to side or in a figure eight motion) to name a few. Often these behaviors are excused away by the public and even some professionals as acceptable “just because the person is blind.” But the bottom line is that these behaviors are unbecoming to an individual, look strange or weird to the sighted public, and again don’t send a great message about blindness to the general public. Think about whether or not you would allow these behaviors in your child if he or she were sighted. The answer is probably not, so we should hold the same expectations for our blind children. They really are just self stimulating behaviors usually demonstrated more frequently when a child is bored, upset, excited, or anxious. These behaviors are exhibited by a blind person much like sucking on one’s thumb, nail biting, chewing on your lip, or fidgeting are to other people. These habits can be corrected and replaced with more acceptable social behaviors with time and practice. Often with children, it is easy to create some kind of a secret word or prompt you can give your child when he or she starts engaging in one of these behaviors which can work as a trigger to remind them to stop this behavior as many times they are unaware that they are even doing it. If you are thinking that these practices really aren’t that big of a deal, let me briefly share two things. First, I know a young girl who engaged in eye poking so much when she was younger that she has permanently disfigured her eyes and face from this. Secondly, imagine your child as an adult sitting in a job interview. How do you think he is going to be perceived by his potential future employer if he is constantly rolling his head from side to side during a conversation? Especially if there is another equally qualified sighted guy sitting outside the door waiting for his turn?

Remember earlier when I referred to big toys as social hot spots for children? WE want to make sure our children have the tools and skills they need to blend in in these social hot spots whether it be in the classroom, scout group, sports team or on the school playground. It is in these settings where children have the opportunity to engage in so many more social learning experiences than we could ever provide them just at home. Ironically, it is through these kind of blending in on the “big toy” experiences where children ultimately discover the qualities that will later define them as an individual, and the skills that will aid them in making it on the ultimate playground—the real world.